My chubby mom

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Because I want them to see what a real female body looks like. Because if I don't -- and their first images of a naked woman are the impossibly perfect physiques in those magazines or those movies -- what kind of expectations will they have?

And what woman could ever live up to them? Between you and me, I'm dismayed, big time, by my post-baby body. But for the sake of my boys -- and my future daughters-in-law -- I lie through my teeth.

When they ask about my stretch marks, I tell them proudly how growing a baby is hard work, and that they're like badges I've earned gaming references always hit home with dudes, no matter what you're explaining.

As much as I'd like to cringe and shrink away when they touch my squishy belly, I let them squeeze my flab between their curious fingers.

Do I hate it? I want to wail, "Leave my fat alone! But I don't. Because for right now, for these few formative years, my flab is their one and only perception of the female body.

And I want them to know that it's beautiful, even in its imperfection. I tell them how strong my body is. They see me work out.

They see me make healthy food choices, but still indulge my love of baked goods. And though -- like most women -- I might inwardly beat myself up over my jeans getting too tight, or groan in frustration at the numbers on the scale, I'm never anything but proud of my body in front of my boys.

Even when I feel the complete opposite inside. Instilling a positive body image is not an issue reserved for people with daughters -- and for boys, it involves not only making them confident about their own bodies, but also letting them know that real is beautiful when it comes to the opposite sex.

I don't want to do them, or any women they might happen to see naked in the future, the disservice of telling them that saggy boobs are bad or that a little bit of flab is something to be ashamed of.

I want them to know that this is the norm, not the nipped-tucked-and-digitally-enhanced images they're going to be bombarded with.

Sure, they'll gawk at those bouncy boobies and flat stomachs and perky butts Like, ever. There will come a time when I cover up when they're around.

I'm sure at some point I'll hear, "Ugh, Mom, put some clothes on! It's fast and easy Yes, Please make this my home page! No Thanks. Don't show this to me again.

Contributor : The Grimace Region : Cincinnati, Ohio Rating : Cute Notes : Along with his inexplicably hilarious trademark exclamation, "Nookie noo," Chubby was a staple of the repertoire of Trevor Phelps, the undisputed class clown at Covedale Elementary in the early 80s.

This is crucial for the punch line, which is purely visual. My mom's chubby, my dad's chubby, heck- even my dog's chubby!

One day, my mama said to me, "Chubby, why don't you never smile?

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